1. |
Victim
02:30
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i'm going to build myself up
i'm going to get so fucking strong
make you wish you'd never threatened me
with violence when you said to me
i am not the one who hurt you
i'm just the victim who tore out your heart
and you do not deserve a single ounce of my sympathy
because i never meant to do you harm
but that's not how it works
i don't know how it works
how it works
i go back and forth in my own head
no matter how much i think cant turn these thoughts into sense
but you know i guess that's fine i'll just spend
three whole years trying to figure this out
you better hold on fucking tight
i've got a white jumpsuit and a sharpened knife
and i need some catharsis in my life
because ever since you stabbed me i've been on the defense all of the time
and i don't want to hurt you not really
but the way you feign your innocence
oh, i can think clearly
you've planted all this doubt in my head
does this make any sense
can't even tell if you meant
for me to end up like this
did you want me dead? does this make any sense?
well i don't need help from you
i am my own machine
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2. |
Hold on Tight
01:27
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i woke up underneath your stairs i think i need a minute
to shake off all the drowsy feeling and open up my eyes and
open up the window, i think i need to open my heart up
to all of the feelings but as soon as i open up they depart
but i want to stay in that space forever that space that's not so awake
i think you need to hold on tight
i think i'm gonna make a mistake
i'll sleep underneath your stairs
for as long as you need me there
i wanna be there but you're always going so fast
too fast for me
am i dead
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3. |
Magic vs Fear
02:20
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i was born under the city lights
i found my heart deep in the countryside
i want to be there
do you want me to be happy?
but there's this feeling in my heart that screams
"i love you"
but there's something in my head that's saying
"i don't know if i can ever trust you again"
but there's something in my heart that says
"its alright"
so i guess that i just have to pick a side
i've foraged well, i've made a home here
i'd rather die than return there
i never want to have to hear those words again
but there's this feeling in my heart that screams
"i love you"
but there's something in my head that's saying
"i don't know if i can ever trust you again"
but there's something in my heart that says
"its alright"
so i guess that i just have to pick a side
i'll cast a spell, i think i know one
and if i don't i can compose one
it's called loving and controlling myself
but there's this feeling in my heart that screams
"i love you"
but there's something in my head that's saying
"i don't know if i can ever trust you again"
but there's something in my heart that says
"its alright"
so i guess that i just have to pick a side
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4. |
Learn and Grow
02:25
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i've been picking up all of the bones
and you're so content on following me home
i think you need to find a way back
you're not the only one to ever feel sad
for no reason
i wake up fucked by my feelings
go back to sleep but i'm dealing
and either way i mean it when i
say that you're amazing
but you're driving me crazy
i think we need a new direction
or something to fix my head
i just need some reassurance
that i'm not the one who's making you feel this pain
i need you to confirm all of this
so that i can ignore all of the scary things you're saying
i need you to let me go or control me
because for a period of time you owned me
and ever since you held my heart in your hands
i've been scared of what you might do
i wake up loving and breathing
i'm trapped in the ceiling
you make me feel all anemic
i don't know who to believe in
do i trust all my instincts and let you lose your grip?
i think you lost all your touch
because you're letting my gaze slip
i think i need to learn from this
but after all this time
well did you change your mind
i don't know if i can
because you cut the cord
and i didn't die
i've been picking up all of the bones
and you're so content on following me home
i think you need to find a way back
you're not the only one to ever feel sad
for no reason
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5. |
2:45 AM
00:38
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hell in a handbasket
doesn't even touch
the way that you feel yeah
you vibrate so much
i wanna stay in your aura
you are a liminal space
i want you forever
you're the darkness i face
you heal me with hands so bruised
and cracked to the touch
living your fullest life
open and shut
i wish you the best
i wish you'd come back
you're breaking my thought process
my full heart collapsed
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6. |
Slip
01:08
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yeah its true i've been gone for a while
i've been walking for miles and miles
away from it
and i cant tell when i'm coming back
and all i want is to get on the right track and
for me to find myself again
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7. |
No Medicine
01:35
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i've got eyes in the back of my head
i don't want you to forget how it felt when we were alone together
and I held you so close to my chest that you could feel the pulse of my flesh vessel
i just want you to renounce me so I can move on and be without you
if you don't want the wound to heal then no medicine will work no antibiotics
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8. |
Shadow Work
01:23
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hurt me like i deserve it
love me i'm moving forwards
realizing i was never perfect
i think i've had enough
help me my mind is closing
in on me im far from holy
maybe better off dead than broken
i'll just keep holding on
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9. |
Holy Ground
01:30
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all things decay and i am wasting away
i am working my bones to dust
i miss you face god i miss your face
i am holding on to love
but you say its not that bad
but you don't understand
life's really hard and then we all die
so i want you in my arms tonight
when heaven and hell become reality tell me
you'll follow me into the light
but you aren't sure which one you're heading towards
will you let me follow you down to fire or holy ground?
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10. |
Seasons Change
01:22
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i got a lot to learn
i got your call the other day
i wanna be there too
what more do i need to say
seasons change
i hope you're doing well
i guess time it will tell
because we don't talk anymore
and you don't want to admit
that we were something that words could not describe
i got my heart torn out and ripped to shred buts then i survived
and seasons change
the days keep passing i feel better with every second
like phases of the moon i know everything's transient
i feel you in my heart even though i'm panicked
come calm me down so i can fix all my habits
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11. |
Anam Cara
03:03
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i'm broken
but i'm soft
you're fading
but you're sharp
and i need you
like a watch
keep me grounded
till i stop
and i cannot imagine my life without you
hold me down keep me feeling the light
yeah you're the only one i've kept through the night
and it's not accident that we are so attached
keep me here when i want to go back
to the way i was yeah keep me on track yeah
tonight we are angels in my mind
and we're holy but we're lost
and i feel you in the dark
energetic interlocked
this is more than i ever thought
and i cannot imagine my life without you
so hold me down keep me feeling the light
yeah you're the only one i've kept through the night
and it's not accident that we are so attached
keep me here when i want to go back
to the way i was yeah keep me on track yeah
tonight we are angels in my mind
i feel the breeze on my skin
new things are gonna begin
i feel complete now
like nothing can go wrong
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12. |
Cloak and Dagger
03:47
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i'm the most cold blooded warm hearted girl you'll ever meet
i've got a cloak on my chest with a dagger underneath
but when i look up at the stars i don't know i'm a different person
hold on to the part where i'm gone and i feel feel your curses
trapping me under the weight of my own thoughts and memories
i think my family was right i'm not a human being
i think i need a new home
this is the broken part
i am not the same
i need to open up and press restart
i know not to meddle with my own spirituality
i've got the goddess on speed dial
what more do i need i've got some tricks up my sleep
but i haven't needed them in a while
though i miss you desperately i don't miss how you messed with me
your motives aren't intricate
all you really wanted was a little escape from the headspace that your minds in
but i don't want to hurt you anymore
i don't need help from you
i am my own machine
but i don't want to hurt you anymore
i don't need help from you
myself is all i need
i don't even trust you anymore
i don't need help from you
myself is all i need
i feel you deep in the night
your name is calling mine
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metagirl Manchester, UK
metagirl (fka aqua girl) is the solo project of Elora Faith ***** (Stars). she also yells and writes hooks as angel netcode for the trashcore band ANGEL_TECH.
hail eris
@estradioldust on everything
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