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(23) I FEEL YOU EVERYWHERE

by metagirl

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1.
ROOT ROT 03:23
Over Water Me or Just Push me away My I denti ty has Been Broken for several days I want Your love More than I Let on But I Don't know If you Can Look past all of my stupid faults Feel my Root rot Set in I don't Want to Live like this Feel my Root rot Set in Feel my Root rot Set in But i cannot bear to hear your voice I cannot bear to hear your voice
2.
Broken hearts all across the floor and I would hate to be an exception But chemicals and animal bones are your preferred means of earning affection Learn how to do it they say It's the easiest Easiest way Easiest way And I love to give but taking's more complex I want to learn the optimal way And what to do next And I love to give but takings more complex The ritual is getting out if hand And my eyes are chasing now and my Heart is racing now and my lungs My lungs are heaving now There's gotta be a better way to do this There's gotta be a better way to do this And I love to give but taking's more complex I want to learn the optimal way And what to do next And I love to give but takings more complex
3.
ASPHALT 03:23
I spend my days in a building Under fluorescent lights Sometimes it feels like a coffin Sometimes I can't sleep through the night I think my boss is a vampire She sucks out all my blood I think the moon is my best friend I meet her every day for lunch One day I'll finally leave the city Quit my job and cut my ties I've got my eyes on fields and snowbanks I let the landscape calm my mind Sometimes I can feel the pounding Of my mistakes inside my head I fear I cannot cure my illness But I still have give it my best So I will carry my presence gently And with intention I will cast All of my words and actions Try to stay on the right path Though I know that I am broken I am still holy in her head Learn to love the chaos of this life While I wait for my latest death I'll fall in love with the sunlight Get reacquainted with my bike And if my face ever meets the asphalt Maybe I'll finally sleep at night
4.
PROMISE RING 02:36
I buried my memories in a hole with rocks and dirt and hope That my family can forget the things that I've learned What I've learned If the blood of family doesn't heal then my art will never fully reflect what i feel What I feel Take off my empty promise ring Show me your soul Tell me all the little things I wanna know Am I dead Am I dead Am I dead to you? Am I dead Am I dead Am I dead to you? Break me down before you leave I have to stay I have to be Someone else Take off my empty promise ring Show me your soul Tell me all the little things I wanna know Am I dead Am I dead Am I dead to you? Am I dead Am I dead Am I dead to you?
5.
HARVEST MOON 03:23
Harvest moon you fill me Renewed heart and energy You are singing your song so sweetly And as i look into your eyes I feel that you are looking back at me Rejoice in death Heat is laid to rest Release what was repressed Air will fill my chest I am doing my best To live without regret Of all the stupid things i've said
6.
My homes the smell of bug spray and sun screen The sound of wolves howling nearby when you're camping I'm starting to forget the last time that I drank caffeine I think I am learning How to exist in my natural state I love making you laugh I love the look on your face I love holding myself calmly inside while it rains But i think that I have discovered peace exactly where i least expected to find it This time I will not neglect a good phase for the sake of realistic worry Lean back Hold on to emotion I feel My heart's Suddenly unfrozen like i Can break Out of my older patterns I love Always moving forward
7.
8.
SPIRAL HYMN 03:23
Oh oh oh I want to dance in the storm I want to to feel your power I want to lose all control I feel your power Most at night when I am awake And I am holding my breath And focused in on my pain Pray I'll recover I know i know it's all the same So I'll keep digging this hole and just hope and pray The Holy Light Cycle Will bring me back to me I want to feel like myself Feel like my heart still beats Upward spiral I love when everything feels complete All the dots are connecting I am one and I'm clean
9.
Sweet fire breathe your life into me I can feel you inside of my most tender moments when all is collapsing Hold my hand Hold my heart Hold my tongue Play my part Feel the pain Feel release As a holy fire consumes me Baptized by the light Assimilate in the night Maybe you can teach me How to disappear Water fills my lungs My brains ecstatic and numb I feel your voice inside Of my every breath
10.
ANTIBODIES 02:23
Why do I feel so sick all the time It's like my body's not even mine The cells inside my blood believe That I am a powerful machine I don't wanna let them down I don't wanna let them down I'm losing my mind but it was worth the wait You hold me down I'm holding my faith I like you more than than I like that girl in my head who tells me jokes And keeps me grounded to the things that I actually know about myself Yeah you keep me grounded I don't wanna fix myself for you It just feels like it's what I'm supposed to do right now I'm working really hard to pick up the pieces of my shattered sense of self And the girl in my head continues to take up more and more Solid and powerful space I don't want to let her down I don't want to let her down I love the person that I've become It's a long long road but i think it's one That I can stick to with a little help So I'll call you up and show you my real self I love the way that you make me feel I love the way that you make me feel I love the way that you make me feel I love the way that you make me feel I love you

about

23 IFYE

REINVENTING MYSELF
DEATH AFTER DEATH
LIFE AFTER LIFE
THIS IS A PRAYER
THANK YOU FOR LISTENING

DESIGNED TO BE EXPERIENCED ON BANDCAMP DESKTOP

COVER ART BY:
euritsua.tumblr.com
www.instagram.com/euribya/

credits

released February 3, 2023

ROOT ROT (SPRING) (death, four of cups):
written and recorded in the dark of what was; my basement.
in a stupor after coming out of the woods crying on november 23rd 2019
with my favorite guitar katherine. thank you to my wonderful friends beetle, molly, and melanie for lending me their voices for the final version of the song. i love all 3 of you so much.
i feel you everywhere

GIVE AND TAKE AND WITCHCRAFT (SUMMER) (the hermit, six of pentacles):
written in my parents house in connecticut, on ukulele during 2016 for my old music project, just before i made a very longterm and important series of consecutive mistakes that i never regretted for even an instant. rerecorded with katherine in my bedroom in my new apartment next to the 505 after that era came to a close.
i feel you everywhere

ASPHALT (SUMMER) (the hanged man, three of cups):
written halfway through 2020 on stolen tax exempt slips and hummed into my phone as a voice memo while on the clock at my grocery store job while i still thought i knew how i would be getting out. recorded with katherine in my bedroom in my new apartment next to the 505. thank you to ray (laptopfuneral.bandcamp.com) for providing the synth track, and for being a fantastic musical mentor and friend. you have taught me so much and i am so excited to see where music takes you. change is coming, keep fighting <3
i feel you everywhere

PROMISE RING (FALL) (two of swords, the tower):
written in 2014 while i still lived in wisconsin, shortly after buying and naming katherine.
she was begging to get out. she was begging to get out. begging for someone to listen. begging for forgiveness.
rerecorded in the dark of what was; my basement.
halfway through 2020 after i realized i would never get forgiveness, but that i might still be able to get out.
i feel you everywhere

MOON (FALL) (the moon)
written with katherine in the dark of what was; my basement.
during october 2019 as i started to discover the way out of the woods that was to be mine. early example of what was my budding complete obsession with seasons and death.
i feel you everywhere

HOLDING MYSELF (FALL) (six of wands, the star):
written with katherine in the dark of what was; my basement.
in early 2020. i struggled to get a recording of it that satisfied me for nearly two years. i was finally able produce a recording that i love using my 4track in the newly empty living room of the apartment that i lived in for two years. i was only able to record it once i learned to embody its title.
i feel you everywhere

WINTER RITUAL (WINTER) (the magician, queen of wands):
written and recorded in the dark of what was; my basement.
in december 2019. inspired by anam cara by john o'donohue, and driving to work and sitting silently in my car during snowstorms.
i feel you everywhere

SPIRAL HYMN (WINTER) (the devil, ten of pentacles):
written and recorded using my firstact childrens guitar named lily during a brief moment in mid 2020 where i could feel the trajectory of my life and personal growth, all of the work i had done to take care of myself up until that point, pulling me forward and forward and forward. a momentum had built up. things were chaotic and i was in pain but the process was in motion and i had set it. PROD. MELODUS (melodus.bandcamp.com) thank you to melanie for transforming this song and making it what it is. you have changed the way that i look at and make music for the rest of my life. you're a ridiculously talented producer and composer, your dedication and passion for your work is unmatched. i feel so lucky to get to have you in my life and i feel so blessed to get to collaborate with THE female aphex twin <3
i feel you everywhere

HOW TO DISAPPEAR (SPRING) (the high priestess, the fool):
written and recorded with katherine in the dark of what was; my basement.
on november 26th 2019. thank you so much to melanie for helping me with the drumtrack, it really brought everything together.
this is a love letter to my goddess before i knew her name. a love letter to myself before i knew my name. a love letter to rylin valentine. a love letter to elora driver. a prayer to eris.
i feel you everywhere

ANTIBODIES (SPRING) (strength):
written with katherine in late 2020, i struggled to get a recording that i liked for just over a year until i learned how to hold myself. and everything clicked. this song is a love letter to my goddess after i found her name. a love letter to myself as i started to feel a deep understanding of who i am and what i am here for. a love letter to my friends and my art. a prayer to god and universe. a conversation with myself. a stereologue. this song is the distilled serenity of my love, passion, and will. a prayer to myself. a prayer to eris.
i feel you everywhere

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about

metagirl Guildford, UK

metagirl (fka aqua girl) is the solo project of Elora Faith ***** (Stars). she also yells and writes hooks as angel netcode for the trashcore band ANGEL_TECH.
hail eris

@estradioldust on everything

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